hello baby. || week 32/33

1:19 PM

"i'd go hungry; i'd go black and blue,
i'd go crawling down the avenue.
no, there's nothing that i wouldn't do
to make you feel my love."
to make you feel my love || adele

lil' raspberry,

your mommy loves you so very much.  and i can't ever tell you that enough.  i whisper it to you at night when i'm falling asleep.  i giggle and tell you about my love when you're being cute and squirmy in my belly.  i sing it to you anytime one of "our" songs comes on the radio (oh yes, we have songs ;) and i love when you dance along with me.  i repeated it over and over to you as i took deep breaths while the nurse drew blood 3 times in a row for a glucose test because as much as i hate needles and blood i love you SO much that there wasn't anywhere else that i would rather be but in that doctors office being pricked and poked because it meant YOU existed and that makes everything totally worth it.

know this for certain little boy: i love you now, before ever even meeting you, not because of anything you have done to earn my love, but because you are the one that God gave me to love.  so in the future, on the days when you mess up and are afraid for me to find out, remember this, and know that (as much as is humanly possible) my love for you will never end.   and that you are a breathlessly beautiful achingly wonderful gift that i hope i never get over.


p.s. we've been going to the pool a lot these days you and i.  someone jokingly told me the other day that you were going to come out tan i was laying out so much ;)  but i love the sun and swimming has become my only form of exercise these days, not to mention the fact that laying on my belly on a raft is just about the most amazing feeling now that you're too big for me to sleep on my stomach.  and i think you like it, you always settle down for a nap while i'm there, probably because the heat from the sun makes you feel warm and cozy.

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  1. this is so beautiful, jess. :')

  2. I just love your blog documenting your journey, Jessica. Sent it to another friend of mine who is pregnant right now. :) You are a beautiful writer.