hello baby

hello baby. || week 32/33

1:19 PM

"i'd go hungry; i'd go black and blue,
i'd go crawling down the avenue.
no, there's nothing that i wouldn't do
to make you feel my love."
to make you feel my love || adele

lil' raspberry,

your mommy loves you so very much.  and i can't ever tell you that enough.  i whisper it to you at night when i'm falling asleep.  i giggle and tell you about my love when you're being cute and squirmy in my belly.  i sing it to you anytime one of "our" songs comes on the radio (oh yes, we have songs ;) and i love when you dance along with me.  i repeated it over and over to you as i took deep breaths while the nurse drew blood 3 times in a row for a glucose test because as much as i hate needles and blood i love you SO much that there wasn't anywhere else that i would rather be but in that doctors office being pricked and poked because it meant YOU existed and that makes everything totally worth it.

know this for certain little boy: i love you now, before ever even meeting you, not because of anything you have done to earn my love, but because you are the one that God gave me to love.  so in the future, on the days when you mess up and are afraid for me to find out, remember this, and know that (as much as is humanly possible) my love for you will never end.   and that you are a breathlessly beautiful achingly wonderful gift that i hope i never get over.

love,
mommy

p.s. we've been going to the pool a lot these days you and i.  someone jokingly told me the other day that you were going to come out tan i was laying out so much ;)  but i love the sun and swimming has become my only form of exercise these days, not to mention the fact that laying on my belly on a raft is just about the most amazing feeling now that you're too big for me to sleep on my stomach.  and i think you like it, you always settle down for a nap while i'm there, probably because the heat from the sun makes you feel warm and cozy.


the boy

the "we" in pregnancy

8:32 PM

i remember a few years ago a friend explaining why they always told people "we're pregnant" during their pregnancy with their first little one.  obviously her husband was not pregnant.  he wasn't the one experiencing morning sickness, he wasn't going to be getting any stretch marks, and he certainly wasn't going to have to experience the pain involved in birthing their baby.  but her reason for saying "we" instead of "i" stuck with me and has made so much sense ever since "we've" been pregnant.

dearest best buddy husband of mine, i'm so very glad that we are pregnant.  together.  because, yes, while i'm the one with heartburn, swollen feet, aching back, and the belly jumping all over the place from kicks + hiccups, you are the one that is faithfully loving and serving me + your little boy through it all.

your hands are the ones that rub away the swollen-ness in my feet after a long day of shooting + almost every other day of the week as well.  those same hands have spent countless late night hours rubbing knots out of my back until you're practically falling asleep so that i too can fall asleep comfortably.

you are the one who always makes sure i have (ICE-COLD) water by my bed every night before we fall asleep because you know i wake up hot and thirsty in the middle of the night, brings me popsicles (because i always want them), and has made countless cups of chocolate milk (to help with the heartburn, of course).

several mornings you have tip-toed around our bedroom as you get ready to go to work and skipped breakfast so that I can sleep in after a rough night of not enough sleep.

your patience with me has never run out, not when i want to eat at chipotle (AGAIN) for the 3rd time in a week, when i'm crying over something that no one should everrrr cry about (code word: haircut. no, not mine, yours.) or when i want to talk your ear off about registering, or something equally boring.

you have cheerfully endured far too many "pizza" and "leftover" nights in our first 9 months of marriage.

you come home from work and ask if i want to go on a walk because regardless of the fact that you're exhausted from a long day you know walking until the stars come out is one of my favorite things to do, and you love to do my favorite things. (because my favorite is your favorite, as you like to remind me all the time.)

your faithfulness to love, treasure, and delight in me, even as i've gotten a little bit chubbier/sometimes grumpier/definitely burpier over the past 8 months has left me overwhelmed with gratefulness that YOU are my adventure partner ...and that WE are pregnant ;)  i can't imagine doing this without you.


hello baby

hello baby. || week 30/31

3:46 PM

lil' raspberry,


these past two weeks have been busy!  you got to spend this past week with 11 other girls helping me teach them about photography.  the days were long and so so SO very hot (record highs for june in texas!) but you were a trooper and didn't seem to mind the fact that i was so busy all the time, or all the extra hands that wanted to touch you and feel your bumps and kicks.  i just love "sharing" you with people, i get to feel you all day long and it's one of my favorite things in the world, but seeing other people's face light up when they feel your little foot kick against their hand is pretty great as well ;)

from week 16 when i first felt you kick (which was way early for a first time mom to feel movement) you've been a non-stop bouncing/flipping/poking/pushing/moving all day long babylove.  there are times when i wonder when you sleep, because you're always so active!  here recently you like to push back whenever i have anything resting on my belly, usually my hands or arms.  whenever i put my hand on my belly i can count on the fact that within seconds you'll have found it and be kicking or pushing at it with your little hands and feet, or sometimes your little bottom.   i love feeling like I'm "playing" with you when that happens, sometimes i'll poke you (gently!) to get you to poke back.

we are just weeks away from playing with you in person, it seems a little bit surreal to try and imagine!  you measured a week ahead at your doctors appointment this week, so maybe you're planning on coming a little bit early?  (i'd be waaaaay ok with that!)

love,
mommy

thanks to one of my interns for grabbing this shot of me while shooting one night, i'm sorry i don't know which one of you took it!

your favorite snacks right now are: pineapple (still obsessed) and chic-fil-a!