hello baby || week 13

10:26 AM

lil' raspberry,

theres something precious, wonderful, and God purposed that kicks in when girl becomes a mommy.  and by "becomes a mommy" i'm not referring to when she actually gives birth to her baby, i mean way back to nine months before that, when God first began creating a tiny new life.  it is a strange and unusual thing to love someone so fiercely and protectively that i've never seen before, and yet whose heartbeat is as much a part of me as my own.  there are moments when I feel panic, knowing that ultimately there is so little I can do to protect you.  i can eat all the right food, take vitamins, read everything i can find about pregnancy and what i should be doing to make sure you're growing strong and healthy, but ultimately it's not up to me.

but your Creator is the God Who Sees, and before i can hold you, before i've seen your fuzzy outline on the screen at the doctors office, before i can bundle you from the cold, or kiss your tears away, He sees you.  He loves you.  and He is protecting you.

for He is forming your "inward parts"
and covers you in my womb.
"I will praise" Him for you are "fearfully and wonderfully made"
"marvelous" are His works,
"and that my soul knows very well."
your "frame was not hidden from" Him.
while you are being made in secret,
His eyes see your substance, "being yet unformed."
in His "book they are all written.
the days fashioned for" you,
"when as yet there were none of them."

"how precious are Your thoughts toward" us "O God!
how great is the sum of them!"
(adapted from psalm 139:13-17)

i will be tempted your whole life to over-protect you.  i will hurt when you hurt and there will be so many times all throughout your life when i will want to hold you back and shelter you from all pain or danger that may come your way.  so i'm learning even now that there is One who loves you more and understands your needs in a way i never can.  as i trust Him now to protect you while you are yet unformed my hope is that i'll continue to entrust you to Him, our Faithful Creator, every day of your life.

love,
mommy

thank you rachel & allix for snagging a few pictures of me + lil ras today!


currently your favorite snacks are: everrrrryyyything.  i think you're having a growth spurt, you're hungry all the time!  but you especially keep me guzzling water like there's no tomorrow, and I still can't get over an almost daily hankering for donuts and chipotle.  you are your mothers child ;)

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13 comments

  1. This is so, so precious. And so, so true. I'm excited for y'all, Jessica!

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  2. So, so precious. So happy for you two.

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  3. this is so lovely & beutiful. I hope lil' raspberry will get to read it one day, when she's old enough. <3

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  4. Can't wait to meet sweet 'lil raspberry...We are praying for raz as he/she's being fearfully & wonderfully made!

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  5. I am so excited ! and I am half way across the world !

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  6. So excited for you, Jessica!! =) Your 'lil raspberry has one adorable mommy. =)

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  7. I smiled and said an "amen" in my heart to what you said about the protection of your little baby ultimately belonging to the Lord. Kudos to you for this attitude! You are so right. We are not in control.
    I am an young midwife, and have seen this demonstrated time after time in pregnancies and births I have had the privilege to witness...the moment we think we are in control, God shows us that we are not, and the only place we ought to be is before Him in trust and in realization of our dependence on Him.
    May the Lord bless you, Jessica, and your baby, during this pregnancy, and keep looking up!

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  8. I love the portraits of you and little raspberry...so beautiful!

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